Tuesday Tidbit: Mitt Romney Clarifies Plans for La Jolla Hideaway

We hesitate to bring this matter up again since we received some rather ugly and disturbing hate mail the last time we discussed, but...



Last week former Massachusetts governor and current GOP presidential hopeful Mitt Romney took it on the real estate chin when it was reported here, there, and everywhere that he'd submitted plans to nearly quadruple the size of an architecturally insignificant beach front house he owns in the wealthy seaside enclave of La Jolla, CA from around 3,000 square feet to more than 11,000 square feet.



Mister and Missus Romney purchased the posh pad about three years ago for a whopping $12,000,000. Alas and despite the hefty purchase price, according to Mister Romney himself, the 3 bedroom and 5 bathroom beach house just isn't large enough to accommodate his five adult children, their spouses and 16 grandchildren. Hence his plans to expand the residence.



There's certainly nothing inherently wrong or unusual about a multi-millionaire like Mister Romney who embarks on a significant expansion and/or full-scale renovation of a luxury vacation residence. However, given the flailing economy and his White House aspirations some folks–people on both sides of the political aisle, mind you–felt Mister Romney's plan for an extensive and expensive expansion was ill-timed.



Yesterday, in an attempt to clear up and clarify the what's-what about his property plans in La Jolla, Mister Romney told Joe McQuaid, publisher of the Union Leader newspaper in New Hampshire that the gossip and reports were not entirely accurate.



According to Mister Romney, the plans and application for the expansion were filed two years ago, long before he tossed his hat in to the GOP presidential hopeful ring. Mister Romney's campaign previously stated that any construction to or expansion of the house would not begin until after the 2012 campaign. Furthermore, the application submitted calls not for a quadrupling of the living space but rather a doubling achieved by the addition of a second floor that would bring the interior living space to around 6,000 square feet. That's gigantic by most standards but hardly an unusual size for an ocean front home in the exceedingly affluent community of La Jolla. The remaining 5,000 or so square feet in the submitted application, as per Mister McQuaid's reports, are accounted for in "nonliving space" that includes the garage and a basement.



When asked by Mister McQuaid if he issued a press release that more succinctly and accurately lays out his actual plans for the property Mister Romney reportedly "shrugged his shoulders with a 'why bother?' look."



photos: Google Maps

Tuesday Tidbit: Kim Kardashian to Hole Up In NYC Hotel

Brace yourselves, butter beans because it's feverishly low-brow reality tee-vee time.



A week or two ago Kim Kardashian was married to professional dribbler Kris Humphries in an extravagant multi-million dollar production on the spectacular manicured grounds of Sotto Il Monte, a sprawling and historic estate in Montecito, CA owned by Silicon Valley venture capitalist Frank Caufield.



New reports in The Post and on Curbed reveal that Mister and Missus Kim Kardashian have returned from their brief honeymoon in Italy to New York City where they are expected to (temporarily) settle into a posh penthouse suite at the Gansevoort Park Avenue Hotel that goes for–are y'all ready for this–$7,000 per night.



The hotel's website shows the duplex suite they're most likely moving into (shown above) measures approximately 2,000 square feet and features a dramatic double height living room with two story high wall of windows, a sculptural floating staircase, fireplace with towering marble chimney breast, private terrace with glittery city view, and state-of-the-art audio and visual systems.



The newlyweds will remain in residence at the swanky hotel just north of Madison Square Park while Kimmy K. shoots another of the Kardashian family's (too) many reality tee-vee shows that neither Your Mama nor the Dr. Cooter will watch because, well, we simply do not and can not understand the appeal of the Kardashian family.



Back on the west coast, Kim still owns an approximately 4,000 square foot faux-Tuscan/mock-Med manse in the Beverly Hills Post Office area that she acquired in February 2010 for $3,400,000.



photos: Gansevoort Hotel Group

Sean Avery Lists Hollywood Hills House at a Loss

SELLER: Sean Avery

LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA

PRICE: $859,000

SIZE: 1,607 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms



YOUR MAMAS NOTES: A few weeks ago professional ice hockey puck pusher Sean Avery was arrested at his home in Los Angeles, CA after noise complaints by neighbors brought the po-po to place in order to put a kibosh on the late-night racket. Badda-bing badda-boom Mister Avery ended up behind bars on charges of battery of an officer. The charges were quickly dropped. Turns out the officer tripped and was not pushed by Mister Avery as was first reported by gossip juggernaut TMZ and later by the Old Grey Lady herself.



Mister Avery, for all the children who like Your Mama can barely distinguish the difference between a hockey stick and a pool cue, currently plays the position of left wing position for the New York Rangers. Do not even ask Your Mama what a left wing is or what they do because we don't know. Our brief research on the interweb informs us that on the ice Mister Avery's known as a fierce and sometimes volatile competitor unafraid to mix it up in a physical confrontation. That professional reputation–presumably deserved–is probably why many were quick to believe early and erroneous reports that Mister Avery pushed a police officer in a flash of anger. Off the ice he's much discussed by the media as an unexpected if quite butch aesthete with an interest in art and a flair for fashion, particularly women's clothing. In 2008 Mister Avery famously interned at Vogue where he did grunt work for Her Fashion Highness Anna Wintour and her marvelously melodramatic and frequently caftan-clad aide-de-camp André Leon Talley.



Before he checked and back checked for the Rangers in New York City, Mister Avery cleared and cross checked for the Kings in Los Angeles, CA where in July 2005 he spent $989,000 on a fairly nondescript Spanish-style cottage that cleaves to a steep slope above Los Angeles' legendary Laurel Canyon, the decadent and bohemian historical heart of the west coast rock and roll music scene. It was there, in that rustic canyon ,in the geographic middle of Los Angeles, where unparalleled songstress/songwriter Joni Mitchell wrote her third album Ladies of the Canyon in the late 1960s.



Anyhoones, our Mister Avery moved to The Big Apple in 2007 to play for the Rangers but hung on to his Laurel Canyon crib. Several months ago he listed the humble and quirky casa with an asking price of $929,000. At about the time Mister Avery was freed of battery charges earlier in August he slashed almost ten percent off the price tag to its current $859,000. Listing information states the seller is motivated, which may or may not have something or nothing to do with a sour taste that Mister Avery may or may not have left in his mouth after his silly run in with the L.A.P.D.



A few quick flicks of the well-worn beads on Your Mama's bejeweled abacus shows that even at a full price sale Mister Avery stands to lose $130,000, not counting the real estate fees. Thus once again proves that celebrities, sports figures and other high profile types were not and are not immune from the recent tanking and continued struggle of the economy in general and real estate in particular.



Listing information and publicly available property records show Mister Avery's pequeño pad near the tail end of a very narrow and dizzyingly twisty cul-de-sac in the Hollywood Hills measures a humble 1,607 square feet and includes just 2 bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms.



Like many homes in the canyons and hills above Hollywood, Mister Avery's modest residence sits hard up on the street. By hard up on the street we mean hard damn up on the street so that there is absolutely no front yard, just a wee tile apron in front of the single car attached garage and a deep inset porch.



The main indoor living/lounging area has wood floors, coffered wood ceiling and a bank of wood framed windows and doors to open to a balcony that looks over the back yard area and the canyon beyond. A wide archway connects the living room to the decidedly diminutive formal dining room where French doors help to visually expand the space and open to the same balcony that runs along the back of the living room. For some inexplicable and decoratively inexcusable reason the wood flooring in the dining room has a distressed ashy tone while those in the living room are a rich honey color. The two floor colors make an unholy meeting under the archway that connects the two rooms. Listen, kittens, Your Mama's Big Book of Decorating Dos and Don'ts is explicit in Rule Number 4: Wood floors may comfortably run up against tile or concrete or some other type of material that isn't wood but it is strictly verboten for wood floors of different types, finishes or color to butt up against each other; Juxtapositional inlay is an exception to this otherwise steel trap of a rule.



The apartment-sized eat-in kitchen looks like it's had some upgrading over the years but Your Mama finds the whole thing a little depressing, especially the mis-matched black and white appliances, the two-toned cabinetry, and the half-assy Spanish tile back splash and decorative medallion behind the stove. Look, puppies, Your Mama realizes not everyone wants or can afford a $100,000 custom kitchen but that doesn't mean it has to look like this hot mess. Even on a serious budget, Your Mama can see that in the right hands this kitchen could be zhushed and pushed into perfectly adequate and even stylish cooker. We are not the right hands but none-the-less we'd recommend the person with the right hands replace the dishwasher with a white one, paint the walls bright matte white, and slather the cabinetry in one solid color paint–maybe a nice mossy green with just a twinge of luster–and replace the back splash with some cha-cha vintage Malibu-style tiles that cover the entire area between the counter top and the bottom of the upper cabinets.



Each of the two bedrooms, located on a lower level, has a private facility. The wood-floored master bedroom steps down to a small tiled vestibule with French doors that open the room to a covered deck with tree top and canyon views. Like the kitchen, the master bathroom–or, at least, the largest of the two bathrooms–has some rather frustrating design and decorating flaws, the most obvious of which is also the least expensive and easiest to fix: the mosquito netting draped from the ceiling over the claw-footed soaking tub. Have mercy, childrens. The way those many yards of swagged semi-transparent fabric causes Your Mama to gasp out loud and grasp our proverbial pearls in decorative mortification. We don't know if Mister Avery is responsible for that upsetting bit of fabric business or if it's the handiwork of a tenant but, honestly, hunnies, no. Just say no to draping netting over the bathtub. We should probably add that to our Big Book of Decorating Dos and Don'ts.



Stairs lead down from the covered terrace off the master bedroom to a tree and foliage encircled dining and lounging deck that juts out over the canyon in a manner that could easily make the knees of most acrophobics turn to jelly.



This is not, we noted in our research, the first time Mister Avery has attempted to sell this house, which he took off the (open) market just days after he put it on the (open) market in June 2008. Your Mama scrounged up online evidence that Mister Avery has in the past had the house available for lease and it appears that it's also currently for lease with a monthly price tag of $5,500.



This will not be the first time Mister Avery will take a loss on a real estate transaction. In July 2007 he paid $1,460,000 for a two-bedroom apartment with 1,123 square foot on the 6th floor of The Chelsea Club on West 19th Street in New York City. He listed the condo in early 2010 with an asking price of $1,795,000. Several price chops followed and property records reveal he finally dumped the condo in January 2011 for $1,400,000, sixty grand less than he paid 3.5 years earlier.



With his New York City apartment sold and this Los Angeles house on the market for substantially less than he paid for it 3.5 years earlier it seems Mister Avery will soon need a new place to live. That's iffin he hasn't already identified and/or purchased a new house or condo to call home in either L.A. or N.Y.C. or both. Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?



listing photos: Hilton & Hyland

A Temporary Nest in 'The Birds' for Lovebirds Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux

Rom-com queen and former sit-com star Jennifer Aniston (Friends, Horrible Bosses, Marley & Me) may have only snatched brooding screenwriter/actor Justin Theroux (I Shot Andy Warhol, American Psycho, Tropic Thunder, John Adams) from a 14-year relationship a few short months ago but their high-profile and much chronicled romance zoomed from 0-60 faster than it takes water to boil.



Almost immediately after hooking up the very quickly smitten kittens were spotted looking for a house to buy in some of the better zip codes in Los Angeles. Your Mama–dontcha know?–has specific knowledge of two high-priced pads the pair peeped. Not finding the perfect property to buy, the now constant companions reportedly opted to lease a (temporary) love nest in a celebrity-chocked neighborhood high above the Sunset Strip in Los Angeles, CA known as 'The Birds.' The 'hood, home to Hollywood types like Leo DiCaprio, Keanu Reeves, Megan Mullally, and Jodie Foster, is often referred to as 'The Birds' due to all the streets being named after–you got it–birds.



A well-informed tattletale we'll call Ben Theredonethat pointed Your Mama's limited attentions to the couple's new crib, a very modestly-sized if still quite pricey pad last on the market with a rental price tag of $20,000 per month. Property records show the well-located but discreet digs were purchased by the current owners, a screenwriter husband and a location scout wife from a prominent New York family, in January 2007 for $3,050,000.



Listing information Your Mama managed to squeeze out of the interweb shows the high-hedged, electronically-gated, and recently-renovated ranch-style residence measures 1,761 square feet and includes just 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms plus a 2-car garage converted into a den/office with pitched ceiling and an entire wall lined with built-in book and display shelves.



The main living/dining room has a high vaulted ceiling with exposed beams, peg-and-groove wood floors of various widths, a wood-burning fireplace flanked by built-in book cases, and a trio of French doors that open the long room the to small limestone terrace that surrounds the wee plunge pool and attached spa.



The random-width wood floors continue into the adjacent eat-in kitchen that has a faint but detectable vibe of a French bistro and includes dark taupe cabinets topped by grey-veined white marble counter tops, white subway tile back splashes, high-grade stainless steel appliances and open shelves on either side of the window over the sink where the daily dishes are on display.



The guest bedroom offers a pitched ceiling, brick fireplace, walls covered in what looks like burlap or some sort of linen, and simple but adequate bathing and terliting facility with glass-enclosed shower stall and wood floors. The master bedroom, considerably larger than the second bedroom but still quite cozy features a peaked ceiling with exposed beams and an attached bathroom with double sinks and marble-lined tub/shower. Two sets of French doors open the bedroom to the pool deck and bathmat-sized patch of grass that gives way to a lounging terrace protected for privacy by a thick and tall hedge.



In addition to the plunge pool, spa and surrounding sunbathing terrace with canyon view, the small backyard includes a number of other patios and decks for lounging, dining and entertaining.



Interestingly, but not surprisingly given the rather unusual real estate ways of the rich and famous, the leased house sits just a half mile from another modest house at the top of the Bird Streets that Miz Aniston has owned since January 1993 when she shelled out $751,000 for the 2 bedroom and 3 bathroom ranch-style residence. One would be a fool not to wonder why Miz Aniston and Mister Theroux didn't just move into that house but such are the inexplicable ways of the rich and famous.



In late June (2011) Miz Aniston sold Ohana, her approximately 10,000 square foot newly renovated mansion in Beverly Hills, for $35,000,000. All research and signs point to the buyer of Ohana as Bill Gross, a freakishly wealthy Orange County (CA) mutual fund manager.



Prior to that, in April 2011, Miz Aniston dropped a titanic total of $7,019,000 for two itty-bitty apartments, one on top of the other, in an imposing, desirable and very expensive pre-war building in New York City's hyper-gentrified West Village. Miz Aniston paid $2,069,000 for the lower unit, a 1 bedroom and 1 bathroom with 3 closets, a tiny kitchen and wood-burning fireplace in the step down living room. The apartment was last priced at $1,800,000, which means Miz Aniston wanted it so badly she paid $209,000 over the asking price. The upstairs unit, a petit penthouse owned by sensationally successful hair cutter Sally Hershberger, cost Miz Aniston a whopping $4,950,000. While no larger than the downstairs unit, the puny penthouse has almost as much space outdoors from the wide terrace that wraps around three sides of the apartment and offers thrilling city views to the south, west and north to the Empire State Building and–even better–the Chrysler Building.



Presumably, as per previous reports, Miz Aniston intends to combine the two tiny units into one still quite cozily scaled duplex penthouse that will encompass fewer than 2,000 square feet of interior space.



The astronomical sale, purchase and rental prices of Miz Aniston's recent real estate activities boggle Your Mama's boozy brain into a state of torpid bewilderment. However, puppies, we can still find and muster the a very real appreciation of Miz Aniston's new-found self-recognition that bigger and fancier is not necessarily better when it comes to real estate even if one's bank account balloons impressively with a sizable showbiz fortune like hers, usually estimated to be well in excess of $100,000,000.



listing photos: Coldwell Banker / Hancock Park North via LA Life

Christina Aguilera Takes It on the Real Estate Chin

SELLER: Christina Aguilera

LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA

PRICE: $4,653,815 (sale)

SIZE: 6,500-ish square feet, 4 bedrooms, 7 bathrooms



YOUR MAMAS NOTES: It may have taken more than three years and a handful of heavy-duty price chops but recently divorced pop music super star turned reality tee-vee singing contest judge Christina Aguilera has finally sold her former bachelorette pad high above the Sunset Strip. A kindly snitch we'll call Nathaniel Needsyoutoknow quietly informed Your Mama the sleek contemporary recently went for the dizzyingly complicated price of $4,653,815.



Miz Aguilera purchased the 4 bedroom and 7 crapper crib in the Bird Streets 'hood back in April 2003 for an even-Steven $5,000,000. A few quick flicks of the well-worn beads on Your Mama's bejeweled abacus reveals the dirrty girl's designer pocketbook and real estate ego took a $346,185 hit on the property not counting the fat real estate fees that easily ran in excess of $150,000. Certainly Miz Aguilera can safely weather a half million dollar financial storm but still, let's be honest pets, it's never a good day to lose half a million bucks even if you're a money-making showbiz machine like Miz Aguilera.



Celebrity real estate watchers and Xtina fans the world over already the highly stylized and sometimes misbehaved divorcée has been trying to off-load this property since April 2008 when she first hoisted the Steve-Hermann-designed house on the open market with an asking price of $7,995,000.



Listing information shows the many-angled modern manse weighs in at more than 6,500 square feet of interior space with vast banks of floor-to-ceiling glass that powerfully reveal the seductive and unobstructed city views that go for as far as the eye can see and the smog allows. A built in sofa in the sunken living area curls around a futuristic fireplace with trapezoidal stainless steel chimney breast. Boozers and liquor lovers like Your Mama will appreciate the L-shaped built-in bar–the kind with actual bar stools–tucked into an architecturally dramatic corner of the main living/entertaining area. Terrazzo floors run under foot, glass sliders open the room up to the outdoors, and up above a vaulted wood beamed ceiling pierced by sky lights and a long row of clerestory windows entices ambient light into the airy area.



A more intimate living area–a den or a family room, if y'all will allow us to call it that–has glossy wood floors, massive pitched sky lights and a full wall of floor-to-ceiling sliding glass doors that look out to a sliver of a patio and a brutalizing stacked stone wall that–in pictures–induces a discomforting kind of real estate claustrophobia in Your Mama.



Special celebrity style amenities of the low profile two-story post and beam pad include a massive master suite with two fireplaces and super-sized custom-fitted closet, a fitness/massage room with mirrored walls and naughty cherry red floor, professional screening room with built-in bar and seating for at least 15 movie goers, and–natch–a recording studio.



Many of the mansion's main rooms open to the wide stone terrace and deck that runs the full length of the house and features and outdoor fireplace. Although there's probably too little room to put a pooch through its proper exercise paces, there's plenty of space for more human activities such as sunbathing, eating, sitting around a fire pit, taking in the glitzy carpet of lights that stretch out below the house, and hanging out in an amorphous swinger-friendly 12-seat spa.



Miz Aguilera married music industry executive Jordan Bratman in the fall of 2005 and it wasn't long before she turned up with a bun in her oven. As is often the case with rich and famous folks, a new baby meant the L.A.-based parents to be needed a new mansion in which to bring up baby.



After a peep and poke around a number of high-priced pads in some of Tinseltown's most expensive zip codes, the then-happy couple settled on a 6 bedroom and 9 bathroom Beverly Hills mansion owned by Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne. Property records and previous reports show the couple shelled out $11,500,000 for the walled and gated estate where a daily parade of buses and vans loaded with camera wielding tourists and super-fans roll slowly by hopin' and prayin' they''ll–what?–catch a glimpse of Miz Aguilera decked out in a bespangled halter top, Brian Atwood pumps and a face-full of make-up pushing the mower, clipping the hedges or backing out of the driveway?.



In March 2011, six or so months after it was revealed that Miz Aguilera and and Mister Bratman planned to part ways and dissolve their 5 year marriage, they quietly pushed their decadently decorated Mediterranean mansion in Bev Hills estate on the market with an asking price of $13,500,000. The 10,000 square foot pile remains listed at the same number.



In classic celebrity fashion Miz Aguilera took up with another man–a smirky production assistant named Matt Rutler–very shortly her split with Mister Bratman. There's talk and gossip that Miz Aguilera wants to make her rebound romance with Mister Rutler legal in the eyes of God and government but the Gossip Cop says the marriage scuttlebutt aint' nuthin' but "entirely false."



Your Mama, who doesn't know a pig pen from an ink pen, has no idea what Miz Aguilera's romantic plans my or may not be as regards to Mister Rutler. We do know that with one mansion sold and another on the market the fast-living single mommy needs a new place to live so we fully expect the platinum blond bomb shell will be back in the celebrity real estate headlines before Your Mama can work our way through this elephantine bottle of gin the Dr. Cooter brought home from Costco last week.



listing photos: Hilton & Hyland

Your Mama Hears...

...from the Malibu Candyman that bushy bearded and frequently barefooted music super-producer/guru Rick Rubin has just dropped $2,000,000 on the world-renowned and much-beloved Shangri La music studio, nestled into the rustic rolling hills just above Zuma Beach in Malibu, CA.



Mister Rubin, a much in demand and shockingly prolific producer who does not actually know how to read music or operate a sound board, is the co-founder of Def Jam Records–now owned by Universal Music Group–and the current co-president of Columbia Records. The zen-ed out music mogul has worked with a long list of music industry super luminaries who include (but are far from limited to) Johnny Cash, Beastie Boys, Aerosmith, Neil Diamond, The Gossip, Dixie Chicks, Rage Against the Machine, Mick Jagger and the soo-blime Avett Brothers.



The prosaic ranch style main residence at Shangri La was built in the late 1950s by actress/dancer wife Margo, a niece of the late-great Spanish bandleader Xavier Cugat and the long-time wife of two-time Oscar-nominated actor Eddie Albert. According to the recording studio's website the property became an "upscale bordello" that was "rumored to have hosted the Hollywood elite of the 1950's." In the 1960s the tee-vee program Mister Ed was filmed on the property and Mister Ed the horse was stabled on the property.



The property was purchased and converted to a recording studio and rock and roll refuge in the late 1970s by audio engineer and music producer Rob Fraboni. A virtual parade of rock and roll icons and legends flocked to and recorded at the low-key property including Eric Clapton, Bob Dylan (who apparently spent some time living in a tent in the rose garden), Joe Cocker, Bonnie Raitt, Ringo Starr, and Crosby Stills & Nash.



Although property records Your Mama peeped indicate Mister Chaney actually bought the ocean view property in October of 2006 for $2,125,000, most reports indicate the property was acquired in the early Noughts by Blaine "Beej" Chaney, singer/gee-tarist for the 1980s New Wave band The Suburbs and the former hubby of low-profile Cargill heiress Sarah MacMillan. Make of that what y'all will. Mister Chaney continued with the property's rock and roll recording history and in recent years Adele, Kings of Leon, Metallica and the Red Hot Chili Peppers have recorded albums at Shangri La. Since Mister Rubin has worked with all four of those artists and bands , one can safely presume, he's intimately familiar with Shangri La.



Although Mister Chaney married into one of the wealthiest families in America, records Your Mama dug up out of the interweb show foreclosure proceedings were initiated on Shangri La in the fall of 2010 and a Notice of Sale was filed in late December with an auction date set for January 13, 2011. It's not clear to Your Mama if the property was sold out of foreclosure or if Mister Chaney managed to stave off that beast. What we do know is that in May 2011 Mister Chaney pushed the property on the market with an asking price of $4,100,000. Within weeks the price tag had been slashed dramatically to $3,195,000.



Listing information shows the 1.73 acre spread has a main house that measures 4,449 square feet with 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms plus a detached guest house. While much of the house is devoted to music making and recording listing information indicates there's a dining room, game room with pool table and built in bar, office, and an eat-in country kitchen. The recording facilities include both state of the art and analog recording abilities with one of the recording studios located in an Airstream trailer with ocean view parked on the property.



We're not exactly sure to where Mister Chaney decamped. Property records show he and his heiress ex-wife Sarah MacMillan own four contiguous ocean front parcels in Malibu where they custom-built a sizable compound. Of course, just to be clear, Your Mama don't know a lug nut from a wing nut so we can't say with any authority whatsoever whether Mister Chaney and/or Miz MacMillan currently reside at the beach front compound.



Mister Rubin has owned property in Malibu since at least 2005 when he paid $4,762,500 for a 4,281 square foot mock-Tudor style residence perched privately on a flat promontory above Point Dume's Westward Beach, about 1.5 miles from Shangri La.



As far as we know, based on our perusal of property records and other online resources, Mister Rubin continues to own two additional historic estates in Los Angeles. In late 1992 the Buddha-like Svengali producer shelled out $2,045,000 for a gated estate just above the Sunset Strip that includes a 9,268 square foot Mediterranean mansion built in 1924. The Malibu Candyman told Your Mama that the estate was once owned by horror movie actor Lon Chaney and that Mister Rubin outbid Madonna for this imposing manse but Your Mama has no specific or personal knowledge of such an occurrence.



A couple years after buying the house Madonna (allegedly) wanted Mister Rubin spent a comparatively paltry $785,000 for an nearby estate in Laurel Canyon with a long and legendary Hollywood provenance. Some online reports suggest that master illusionist Harry Houdini bunked on the property for a short period of time in the early/mid 1920s. However, there seems to be some question about whether Mister Houdini actually lived in Mister Rubin's house/studio, occupied another nearby house or if he ever lived in Laural Canyon at all. We suspect the mystery of he whereabouts would please him. Anyhoo, according to the fine folks at The Movieland Directory, the Mediterranean mansion was rented in the late twenties and early 1930s by Mister Houdini's widow Beatrice (Bessie). The property was later owned or rented, also as per The Movieland Directory, by a slew of Tinseltown pooh-bahs like Errol Flynn, W.C. Fields, and Jimi Hendrix as well as underworld entrepreneur Bugsy Siegel who



Various earlier reports stated that Mister Chaney wanted Shangri La sold to someone who would respect and carry the property's deep and wide rock and roll history into the future. Mister Rubin's acquisition ensures that not only will Shangri La continue to host music industry icons for years to come but also that it will retain its decidedly un-fancy down home charms that have drawn music industry legends (and legends in the making) for decades.



listing photos: Sotheby's International Realty

Sitcom Star Matthew Perry Buys and Sells Above the Sunset Strip

BUYER: Matthew Perry

LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA

PRICE: $8,650,000

SIZE: 4,000 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms



YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Yes, pets, Your Mama realizes we are late-late-late to the parade on this particular matter but we're going to put on our celebrity real estate party shoes anyway and discuss the recent real estate activities of sitcom star Matthew Perry (Friends, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, Mr. Sunshine).



About a week ago the lovely Ann Brenoff tattled to celebrity real estate fanatics the world over that Mister Perry plunked down a hefty $8,650,000 for a recently rehabilitated and sensationally sleek residence in the Bird Streets neighborhood just above the famed Sunset Strip in Los Angeles, CA. Listing information for the quintessential Tinseltown bachelor pad shows the L-shaped residence measures around 4,000 high-glam square feet with 3 bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms.



An intimately scaled entry courtyard provides a buffer between the street, a quiet cul-de-sac with just four other high-priced private residences. The pivoting glass front door, a feat of engineering with with horizontal "fins," swings open to an entryway that spills into a vast glass walled living area with walnut floors, wenge wood cabinetry, free-standing three-sided fireplace, and a full wall of four custom made slim-framed glass sliders that muddy and even obliterate the distinction between indoors and out.



The sleek Poliform-brand kitchen, open to the living room, has cream colored and walnut lacquered cabinetry, CaesarStone counter tops–some of which are an interesting but slightly unsightly light lime green–integrated lighting strips in the ceilings and all the to-be-expected high-grade Euro-style appliances: two Sub-Zero fridge-freezers, wine cabinet, two Miele dishwashers, 5-burner range, two ovens (plus two warming drawers), and built-in coffee/espresso maker.



Each of the three bedrooms has a private facility but it's the master suite where the house reaches a kind of architectural orgasm with two full walls of floor to ceiling glass equipped with electronically-controlled blinds that allow the room to visually hover over the swimming pool and the wide expanse of city lights beyond. There's also an alcohol-fueled fireplace for romance, built in wenge wood patterned cabinets and wardrobes for Mister Perry designer duds, and a narrow patio lined with Mother's Tongue plants where the man of the house can suck down a post-coital cigarette. The attached bathroom has walls finished with slabs of Silestone, extra-long soaking tub with boob-toob sunk into the adjacent wall for concurrent bathing and reality tee-vee watching, a glassed-in separate steam shower with rain shower head and seat, and a door to a private patio.



Even the garage was given the high-style business with a virtually silent $27,000 garage door and interior spaces fitted with the same high-quality finishes as the interiors of the house. One wall is paneled in wenge wood, the floor is custom painted, cabinets hold all the home's home automation systems, and a custom lighting system includes European LED lights that change colors. Why a person would want disco lighting in the damn garage is beyond Your Mama's limited capabilities to comprehend.



As unexpectedly fancy-pants as the garage may be, perhaps the most notable, expensive, and architecturally nouveau feature of Mister Perry's newest in-town residence is the state-of-the-art home theater accessed via custom-lit terrazzo stair. The luxe and cozy-looking theater, tucked into the ground beneath the master suite. Not only are there two two-inch thick Perspex windows that look from the 9-seat home theater into the depths of the swimming pool, the over-sized screen disappears into the ceiling and the floor-to-ceiling velvet curtains part at the soft push of a button to expose an entire wall of frameless glass that frames a cinematic view of the carpet of lights that Los Angeles becomes when the sun goes down. Regardless of what a person might think of this house, the home theater is unequivocally impressive.



The house wraps around a surprisingly spacious courtyard that opens up the the solar and gas heated swimming pool, spa and jet liner views. The main living areas of the house open up to a terrazzo terrace and water feature with two plumes of fire. The remainder of the back yard area includes a patch of really high-quality fake grass with a 12-foot tall aluminum and acrylic sculpture of three cartoonish flowers by artist Nancy Braver, an open-air dining/lounging pavilion with ceiling-mounted television and adjacent fire pit, and a Porsche brand stainless steel barbecue.



Mister Perry's real estate portfolio currently bulges with a number of luxury residences in the Los Angeles area including another house high above the Sunset Strip that property records and previous reports reveal he acquired in March 2008 for $4,475,000. One of Your Mama's celebrity real estate canaries snitched that the sexy but undistinguished 4,100 square foot contemporary will soon get listed, if it doesn't sell off-market first.



A few months after snatching up his clean-lined and glass-wrapped house in the hills, he paid another $883,000 for a far more ordinary ranch style residence at the foot of Laurel Canyon in Studio City, CA. Your Mama thinks it's probably safe to assume this 3 bedroom and 2 bathroom abode with 1,701 square feet was purchased for family, staff or friends.



Just before selling yet another glassy modern mansion* in Beverly Hills' trendy Trousdale Estates 'hood in the fall of 2005 for $6,100,000, Mister Perry paid $6,550,000 for a contemporary residence privately perched on a Malibu, CA hillside with multimillion dollar panoramic ocean views.



*Before making catty comments on the house in Bev Hills take heed my little ponies, photographs on virtual tour do not depict the house as it looked when Mister Perry owned and occupied the property; It was created for a subsequent owner who listed the house in June 2010 for $12,300,000 and sold the property in October the same year for $10,280,000.



At the very same time Mister Perry purchased his hillside house in the Bu the notorious lady-celebrity dater dropped another $3,200,000 for a 2 bedroom and 2.5 bathroom city-view condo on a high floor of the celebrity-stacked Sierra Towers building in West Hollywood. As it turns out, Mister Perry also has his 1,672 square foot in-town residence (below) on the market with an asking price of $2,995,000.

Those children who haven't completely wrecked their minds on the dope may recall this ain't the first time Mister Perry tried to sell his louche and libidinal Sierra Towers condo. In May 2008 Your Mama discussed the petite by celebrity standards corner condo when it was listed with a much fatter price tag of $4,500,000.



Sierra Towers residents include a gaggle of high profile divas like Elton John, Cher, Diahann Carol and Joan Collins. Imagine what happens when two or three of those beeotches all turn up at the valet at the same time screaming for their $300,000 Bentleys. We tease, puppies, the ladies probably all get along like peanut butter and jelly. What do we know? Maybe they even get together every Tuesday at four for cribbage, liquor and gossip.



Mister Perry seems to have a solid case of The Celebrity Real Estate Fickle. That means as much money as the man has spent on his current list of pads and pied a terres Your Mama expects he'll continue to frequently shuffle his real estate deck, at least for as long as he's working and/or basking in the lucrative afterglow of fat residual checks that come from the heavily syndicated program Friends.



listing photos (house): Keller Williams / Hollywood Hills

listing photos (condo): The Partners Trust